It is hunting season here in Montana. A GORGEOUS time to live in the Big Sky State, the leaves are turning, the nights are cool, there are dead animals in the back of trucks all over town. . . Technically, right now, it is bow season. But the whole killing season lasts FOREVER around here. I don't know shit about killing animals, but throughout my 30 years of living in this state, I have learned a thing or two about hunter speak.First start with the questions:
"Did you shoot anything?"
"Bow or Riffle?"
"Cow or Bull?" (Applies to Elk)
"Buck or Doe" (Applies to Deer)
"How big?" (Applies to both)
When they answer with the number of points, just say "AHHH!" no matter what the number is.
Questions NOT to ask:
"Where were you?"
"How many did you miss before you got the ONE?"
"Do you need help hauling it out?"
"Are Elk just grown up deers?"
"What is a Mulie?"
"How in the hell did you get lost?"
"Can I go?"
Be prepared to discuss such things as covering ones self in elk/deer urine, tree stands, bugling, four wheelers and processing.
Oh and when hiking, wear orange, not just any orange. See below.
3 comments:
Another question NOT to ask: "why not just 'shot' them with your camera." The general reaction is either no reaction or a pat on the head.
You left out the best part or really parts of the whole season. The random scattering of deer and elk legs around town for us dogs. Oh how I miss living 2 blocks away from a processor in Bozeman... It really takes me back, treasure to be found all over the neighborhood... Trips to the vet to be wormed... Ahhh. Maybe I'll see if I can hitch a ride to Kansas City somehow, it is close to Denver and I hear they have lots of processors there...
OH and one last question: "Did you have a tag for that?" NEVER ask that one esp. if you're the lawyer for FWP.
Post a Comment