The 500 women gender studies scholar Barash interviewed for this exhaustively researched book on female competition confirms that women can indeed be mean. Barash outlines why women compete with each other differently than men do with other men and why women often want to sabotage powerful female rivals. Male competition is goal-oriented and limited, Barash says, while women compete over appearance, children, the workplace and relationships. Why? According to Barash, for women, competition is about identity and relationships, and they have a harder time setting boundaries to competition. Barash devotes chapters to specific areas of competition, from looks to career, and then presents real-life examples of situations in which resentment and jealousy can be used to improve one's life without destroying anyone else's. Overall, this study provides a helpful starting place for any woman wondering if it's possible to get what she wants without hurting or being hurt.
I am going to read it as soon as possible. This is my work place environment. I am a scientist and there are very few women scientists/engineers around here and they treat each other like shit. WHY? WHY? WHY? I cry? I am bound and determined to find out. So I don't accidentally act like that.
My best friend was the prom queen, she is beautiful, kind, talented (VERY TALENTED) and wicked smart and she was the victim of this type of back biting and sniping. Randomly for no reason whatsoever her high school "friends" dumped her. She hates to be called the prom queen, perhaps for this very reason. I am sure that being dumped by her friends hurt very badly, but I would remind her that it made her the happy person that she is, and is probably my friend because of it.
I just want to tell all of you strong women that read this, I support you. Whatever you do, tread lightly on each other, nice girls finish first.
4 comments:
that was heartfelt and sincere. it was very nice. not to draw any conclusions about the nature of ferocity within the female homosapiens crawling over this planet, it is an interresting point from a societal view that this exists. men fight with the same ferocity, just not WASP men. Think about it, the gang wars of the nineties with the africans, the shit the cubans do to the columbians, the shit the columbians do to themselves, and the way women do the same. Minorities and women lash, not OUT, by within themselves as a definition of relationship. here is the thing i find interresting, all of these groups exhibit the same in-fighting charastics were all opressed at one time or another in one way or another by the one group that does NOT exhibit the in-fighting. It was not always the anglo saxon caucasion men that did the opressing, the french and spanish also, the russians, british and german, and i could be totally off base here. but i do find that interresting.
I have two questions for you. . .no make it three. How many women work in your office percentage wise? How many of them are in management?
Lastly, have you ever thought about why H-Train's workplace environment is so toxic?
I will lend you the book when I am finished.
This made me think of my sister, who is beautiful and smart and kind...and women hate her for it. She's the least competetive person I know and women are so cruel to her just because she has beauty. Why do women think beauty makes life easier? I know a woman whose boss is an overweight woman who resents her slim physique. She can't see past her employees beauty and she hates her for it. Very thought provoking book! Thaks for sharing.
I was not refering to where I work. The females here are not at all like the book you described. all our back biting here comes from the men, small insecure men. I was refering to where you work, not specifically you, but i talk to people from the state all the time, and you talk about toxic work environments. I have only seen that much underminded back stabbing between females in high school.
Heather's work place is caustic because it is a pig fat for slaughter. they predicted within a month it will be chopped up and sold off, all employees fired, and then cingular will take it over. But that is to be expected from corporations.
no comment about the minorities? I do believe there is a correlation between the two. I thought about that way back in college about the relationship. i think it has to do with a mix of jealousy and struggle for power.
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