This entry started as an e-mail, but it is so well written, I am posting it. AH, you crack my sh!t up!
Take it away AH:
Since I don't have a blog I just thought that I would add my insight to housewives and the first day of school. I walked outside of my house this morning to find 4 large Suburbans with license plates such as "4 Our Boyz" "Boys R Us" and other stupid crap like "Weeee" and "Fyshin". Jesus. Meanwhile, their smug looks radiate the tunes of "I'm a better mom than you because I stay home" and "All Mothers are Working Mothers." They justify their monstrous vehicles by saying that they are "protecting" their children, and yet deplete the fossil fuels and clean air that will their children will need in the future. What really gets me is that if you look at the back of each of those vehicles you will see the bright yellow ribbon plastered to the back like it is a trophy. They want us to know that they support our troops, especially if it means continueing to drive their boats around.
They look at me like I am some pitiful being because I'm rushing off to work with wet hair and wrinkled pants, and even wave me on to pull out of my own driveway like they are giving me a special gift. I realize that I did move directly in front of a school and will most likely come to terms with it. I guess this answers the question as to whether I will be driving much to work during the school year. I hope one of them blocks my car in so I can have them towed.
Needless to say, I bet you can all guess that AH is not in any sort of hurry to start popping out yard monkeys. In fact, you should ask to se her special face that she makes at small children. . . frightenly funny, but mostly frightening. One of my favorite AH stories is when she got a tad intoxicated at a party and was yelling out "BREEDER" while pointing at my blog partner. Last night I said "hi" to a kid who tried to run us over with his mini John Deere tractor and she accused me of getting maternal. Oh AH - - - when are you going to settle down and start popping out some girl scouts? I have all sorts of quality dirty words to teach them.
4 comments:
AH, you are a testament to the need for CHOICE. Would anyone inflict a child upon her? First, torturous for HER mostly. AND SECOND, torturous for the child who just wants to ride his John Deere mini-tractor. SEriously world, let this woman have a CHOICE!!!
Anyone who calls ME a breeder definately is against the babies. I work for the abortion industry for god's sake!
I'm not anti-child, well ok, maybe a little bit. I am mostly anti stupid mothers and parents. You know there are so many of them out there, hence the stupid license plates. Besides, Breeder is so much more anti-child than I am!
AH - girl scouts. Get on it.
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